I have always had issues with being vulnerable. I think a lot of people do. It's so hard to fully reveal yourself to another person, no matter how long you've known them or how close you are to them. This doesn't even mean sharing your deepest secrets, because usually those are just facts of embarrassment, I'm talking about saying those words that you don't know if you should say or not. Telling someone EXACTLY how you feel, even though you fear rejection, ridicule, or disagreement. In a previous class I took we were studying marriages and relationships in general and my professor told us that it takes approximately seven years to reach "true intimacy" in a relationship with another person. When I first heard that number, I thought it was crap. No way. Seven YEARS?? Then I thought about what the word "intimacy" actually meant. Sure, I think when most people hear it, they first think of sexual intimacy, but that is only one part of it. What about that vulnerability? I think that being intimate with someone means that you can be vulnerable with them. It means you can tell them anything, even if it's something that is going to hurt THEIR feelings, you have to be able to tell them, then you just have to figure out HOW to tell them. That's an intimate relationship. I don't know if I agree with that seven year approximation for reaching that, but I'm sure it takes time to get there in some areas more than others.
In talking about all of this, I've come to the conclusion that it's ok to put yourself out there sometimes with certain people in certain situations, but you have to be careful. Emotions can takeover, and although that can feel _amazing_, you have to protect yourself. I encourage people to be as honest with people as they can, i know full disclosure isn't always wise, I think eveyone should recognize that, but don't forget to communicate what should be communicated. You don't want to regret holding some things back. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. Evaluate what and who are important to you and your life. Don't forget to think, but don't over analyze your life. Go to people for advice, but realize you have to take control of your own life and make your own decisions. And lastlly, find that balance between following your gut, your head, and your heart.
3 months ago